A few weeks from now, George W. Bush and Vladimir Putin will spend two days here in Kennebunkport, just down the coast a few miles. It is stirring to consider that decisions made almost within sight of here (a few pesky islands are between us) may shape the world order for decades to come.
One can’t be sure of the temperature of the conversation - there has been a chill in the air lately – but it might go something like this:
GWB: Hiya Vlad. Good flight?
VP: Ochen korosho. Kak vui pashzevayetsa?
GWB: Tell you what, Vlad. Let’s try it in English. Your English is a whole lot better than my Russki.
VP: Very good, Mr. President. And yes, it was good flight.
GWB: Now Vlad, we’re good friends, right?
VP: I hope so, Mr. President.
GWB: And friends can speak about their differences openly. So I have to say again what I said at the G-8: We’re disappointed in your actions in the area of human rights.
VP: Well, if I may use an old Russian proverb, Mr. President, people living in glass houses should not throw stones. May I remind you of Guantanamo, Abu Graib, Haditha…
GWB: That’s different, Vladimir. We’re at war.
VP: When the Soviet Union was fighting in Afghanistan, we were at war. But you were not so forgiving then. In fact, you supplied weapons to our enemies, to people you now call terrorists.
GWB: Look Vladimir, that was then, this is now. The Cold War is over. Let’s be friends.
VP: Friends do not point nuclear missiles at each other.
GWB: Now, Vladimir, I am going to have to help you a bit with your English. The word is nucular, not nuclear. I hope you don’t mind the correction.
VP: But I thought it was spelled…..
GWB: The spelling doesn’t matter, Vladimir. It’s an irregular verb.
VP: It’s a strange language, English.
GWB: Like reelator. Would you like something to drink?
VP: Excellent. I brought some of our best vodka, George. Will you join me?
GWB: Thanks, Vladimir, but I've been on the wagon for years. How about a good old-fashioned, capitalistic Coke?
VP: Yes, we will toast each other with Cokes. Here's to peace!
GWB: As they say in Russia, nazdorovya!
VP: As they say in Casablanca, here’s looking at you, kid.
GWB: Tell you what: Let’s save the serious stuff for tomorrow. Today, why don’t you enjoy the place? A swim in the ocean would be just the thing after your long flight. Would you like that?
VP: But isn’t the ocean water very cold here in Maine?
GWB: Only in the winter, Vladimir. In July, it’s a warm as a cow in the clover, heh heh.
